I went deaf in one ear

Just less than a year ago, I went deaf in one ear. Relatively suddenly, but profoundly. 

Although I still had hearing in one ear, the impact was massive. I couldn’t rely on my body because my balance was affected; walking was suddenly difficult and I dreaded uneven surfaces. I couldn’t tell where sounds were coming from, so crossing the road was scary.

I felt isolated - in groups of people I couldn’t follow the conversation. In any busy environments I couldn’t make out what was being said to me, and I couldn’t hear when people called to me in the street. There's only so many times you can ask people to repeat themselves before you just smile and hope for the best.

I also have tinnitus - a constant droning or whistling noise in my head. Sometimes there are also sounds like an old typewriter, or even chimes. In the early days of my hearing loss, this was the hardest to cope with. It is distracting, and exhausting and gets much worse in loud or echo-y environments. Sometimes it feels like my whole head is ringing. 

Once I had to call out an electrician because something was beeping in my house, and because of my directional hearing loss, I simply couldn’t find it and it was driving me crazy. Luckily, it was only a dying battery in a very old alarm and not, for example, the carbon monoxide monitor, and in fairness it took the electrician a bit of time to track it down. But still not my finest moment.

At first, I had hope that the hearing loss was temporary; a problem with my eustachian tube, perhaps. But gradually, after lots of tests and appointments, I had to accept it was permanent. I have CROS aids now, which transmit sounds from the deaf ear to my good ear. And I’ve got a bit better at being pro-active; telling people I’m deaf, asking to sit in a position which gives me the best vantage point, choosing quiet places to eat and socialise.

And reminding people. Deafness is invisible, and people aren’t used to hearing being a problem for me. So they look away from me when they are talking, or cover their mouths (I do a lot of amateur lip reading) or shout from other rooms. As I used to say when I was teaching, it’s your own time you’re wasting.

While I was coming to terms with the changes in my life, setting up Tarotherapy with Josie was hugely helpful. It was something I could still do, and as we met our first targets and saw the idea taking shape in the real world it helped my mood and level of energy. We’ve spent time considering how to make our website and the experience of tarotherapy readings as inclusive as possible.

As I’ve learned, small adjustments make a big difference. Speaking louder is often people’s automatic reaction when they realise someone has a hearing issue, but that’s not often helpful - there’s enough noise in my head as it is! Ironically, the world seems a lot LOUDER when your hearing is partially impaired; music in public places, car noise, heating or air conditioning units; all these things drown out the things I do need to hear.

So we have created a quiet space for Tarotherapy. We outline the adjustments we can make here and offer a specific reading experience, Question and Card, which allows people to submit a written focus or question for investigation and reflection. We then draw a card and provide a written exploration and questions for people to consider and contemplate at their own pace. 

According to the RNID, one in 3 adults in the UK are deaf, have hearing loss or tinnitus. 2.4 million of us have a level of hearing loss that means we struggle to follow ordinary conversations. Deafness is one of the biggest disabilities, but before my own hearing loss, I’d never given it much thought. More worryingly, as a teacher, I don’t remember much training in basic strategies to help me deliver lessons to classes which included deaf children. 

So Deaf Awareness is vital to so many people. This Deaf Awareness week, take a few minutes to check out some basic tips from RNID here or ask at work if there is any training available, particularly for customer-facing roles. Basic stuff is pretty simple - speak clearly, face me, take your time. I’m fine if you want to try mime, I’m not proud!

I’m going to try to learn a little more BSL - RNID and Signature have  basic tips and videos here.

And shoutouts to people who do this well - from the restaurant that Josie booked for us (The Long Hop) who seated us in a quiet area with the waitress who spoke clearly and directly to me about the specials to the fabulous Rocky Horror Picture Show with BSL interpreter, who has her work cut out for her! I was very pleased with the signs I learned that night even if they’re not terribly helpful in day to day life. (Although more helpful than you might think…)

Blessed be,

Janie

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